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X PS, Don't sin.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
9:42 PM
it's all in the mind. i know. and we have to do it.

desire? want? to what extent. that, we have to figure it out ourselves.



Sunday, March 28, 2010
10:49 PM

maybe it was one-sided all these time.

i've given up.

no more wasting time on initiating useless conversations.
no more wasting time to even think about it.
no more wasting time thinking about the past.

to think that when everyone is asking me to give up, i still held on.
held on to that small glimspe of hope that you might realise something's wrong.

but no, you didnt.
and i know i have to let go now. this just isnt right for me.

byebye, i never want to see you again.


so that's how it feels like, to be hurt in a precious relationship.





on a side note;
read through the letters karen wrote last year. i finally understood some of the things that she mentioned inside (: well it's easier to understand when you're the one going through right. no more feeling demoralised, unmotivated, depressed, stressed whatsoever. i'm gonna find back that flickering flame. i'm gonna ignite that tiny little spark to a huge burning fire! TIME TO BE BACK ON TRACK. 30more days to the first match of Adivs. i have to be there, we have to be there. i will be that pillar of strength for the team! WE CAN DO IT. TOP4! :D



5:52 PM
9 Deadly words used by women

1) Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


2) Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3) Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

4) Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5) Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6) That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7) Thanks
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8 ) Whatever
Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

9) Don’t worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.



Friday, March 26, 2010
10:46 PM

TGIF!

i'm like really happy! though i know i have PI due on mondayy, BUT WHO CARES! HAHA (:

sooo, i'm still sick -.- after one whole week. but no choice, i had to do pt already todayy haha was damn tired luh. really trying very hard to stay awake during econs today oops haha yeahh, kk so floorball nationals fixtures are out! we'll be playing against MJ, YJ, IJ and RV (: I REALLY WANNA TRY FOR TOP4! come on girls! we can do it! HAHA :D

i think all the trainings while i'm sick, has made me even more sick. as in, never fully recovered luhh, then like still feel sick and tired everydayy. ohwell, when life is left with no other ways, you just go the only way hahaha



Wednesday, March 24, 2010
7:55 PM
I WANNA COMPOSE A SONG!

who wanna write lyrics for me!

i shall attempt an english song nowwww (:

means i'll need english lyrics!

someoneeee, anyone!



Monday, March 22, 2010
10:09 PM
TODAY, I STAYED AT HOME :D

hahaha my day at home was quite cool XD

went to see the doctor in the morning. have throat infection and fever. so yeahh 2 days mc and i'm excused from physical activity the whole week (: but i think i'm most prob going back school tomorrow, cause tuesdays have the most lessons in the whole week! (i know some of you might think, precisely why i should pon if i can) but well! i need to catch up on my work yeah! HAHA

so yeahh, after i reached home, i went to investigate the "mio tv" that my bro subscribed close to a month ago. then i watched 102 dalmations! SHHH dont say i'm outdated okay. it's the first time i'm watching it (: hahaha yeahh then i tried doing abit of MI tutorial, but then i end up sleeping for 3 and a half hours XD guess the medicine makes me sleepy zzz. yeahh then after that woke up, and slacked all the way till now!

omgosh, it feels great to be at home while everyone else is in school oops haha but yeahh it's kinda good, like i could catch up on my sleep and stuff. and to be alone for the whole day, with no distractions. how wonderful (: i like days like this hahaha

let's all smile and be happy! because tomorrow will be a better day (:



Saturday, March 20, 2010
8:28 PM
omgosh this sucks.

i slept so much last night, i thought i could do alot of homework today. but guess what. i havent finished a single homework! and whyyy, cause of the stupid flu/fever i caught. my head hurts like shit that i cant think properly, my eyes are damn tired even though i am not then cannot focus, my body aches whenever the wind blows, and my nose is damn irritating. wahhh how to study like thattt T.T

i feel useless man. like i wanna do something then cannot -.- irritating to the max.

i give up. today i shall sleep. i mug tomorrow okayy.

bleah amelia you suckkk, you actually finished ALL the homework alreadyy :( while i still have gp, maths and bio AHHH T.T this concludes one thing: amelia goh is a mugger hahaha :D jkjk but though it's quite true to a certain extent haha



Friday, March 19, 2010
11:24 PM

i want to talk to you, but i can't bring myself to say the words.



8:28 PM
five days of floorball officially ended! (:

haha i shall start from wednesday!

so there was tampines court. did alot of stickwork, basic drills and stuff. 3hours seemed sooooooo long for the 1st time haha yeahh but it wasnt that bad. like amelia and i could pass 100 times without stopping! SO COOL (: thennn, went to the singapore flyer with my parents! it was quite boring actually, but okay laa, quite cool haha i like the area below the singapore flyer. like beside the river, at night damn romantic one HAHA XD yupyup.

then floorball camp/sleepover thursday and friday! so we started off with court at tampines. coach sort of put us in our line (: not baddd i like my line haha i must say amelia and i really got mo qi. yepyepp then went back to school after that! OMGOSH, the ride back so noisy laaaa. like SUPER. then kimberly and denise are so evil with their 'truth' questions -.- it's like a multiple choice scenario question but so dumb i only have like ONE answer to choose bleahh.

kk then reached back school, lunchh, then bonding games! wacko and the chair game! HAHA quite funnn (: and thenn, had training in the gym for girls. ehh, was quite unhappy with some stuff then yeahhh THANKS TEAM FOR CHEERING ME UP :D your song is really, wahhh i'm touched (: then the floorball video was quite inspirational (: really nice.

haha then dinner! had pizza in school! haha then we left school at about 8plus and went to the park opposite hc bus stop to play sparklers :D damnnn fun! hahaha we totally smoked up the whole area XD yupp left the place about 10.30pm i thinkk, then amelia, yuxian, amanda, zhuer, brenda, jasmin, emily zhang, grace, kimberly and i went sijia's house sleepover (: hahaha her house is soooo ulu la! but quite bigg. i didnt know she was so rich haha i absolutely LOVED her sofa man -.- kimberly and i slept until damn hard. like keep tossing and turning, then the sofa kept bouncing back up that kind haha yeahhh woke up quite a few times throughout the night.



yeahh then woke up in the morning, was almost late for training at tampines heh had friendly with hc todayy. 4-3 we won! but the score was really close. it was like 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, 4-3. yeahh super close la. i really need to buck up. couldnt shoot for nuts! i feel sooo sad :( siannn. yaa like that lor. but after that, guys had friendly with bukit merah yeahh they are damn pro! especially the slap shot guy. damn good. yupp after we broke camp, went for lunch then went homeeee (:

it's sooo good to be home seriously. i'm damn tired. i need to sleep moreeee, even though i just slept for 4 hours already haha (:

[win, lose, or draw, we play like champions!]



Tuesday, March 16, 2010
10:13 PM
to the zoo to the zoo... haha yesterday, had training in the morning then went to the zoo for og outing! it was soooo fun! even though only me, amelia, melanie, akshay, enxian and jonathan went hahaha it kept raining laaa. but it was funfunfun! amelia say got alot of animals looked like me -.- haha then after that went for cip again (: nothing much, just that i had to go home early cause i've been going out very often already :(

yeahh then today! 10hours of floorball HAHAHA went to school to train with kimberly, amanda, yuxian and denise! 8am. haha trained till about 11plus close to 12. haha abit fail. we ended up talking alot XD then went out for lunch! and i spent 20bucks on lunch -.- PLEASE, someone tell me to stop eating to much! :( haha then after lunch, went valhall! haha denise and amanda bought new stick! i wanted to. but then, no money. and my mummy will scold me :( so cannot. then the person there said my stick is like good for drag! then after that, we all felt so inspired to train, we actually went back to school to train! :D until like 6pm hahaha pro right. i've never felt so attached to a cca before (: it was super funnnnn loved today alot :D

yupyup that's all, pictures soon!



Saturday, March 13, 2010
8:30 PM
IT'S OKAY, IT'S ALRIGHT! I'M PROUD OF YOU GIRLS (:

soooo, today was friendly against IJ. we lost. the score was 8-6. i'm really happy for you girls! our very first friendly and considering the fact that you all trained for like 1months plus only, it's really incredible (: let's work harder for the next friendly yeah! i really wanna have a chance one day to treat yall to like wonderful icecream HAHA

angry with myself! i didnt score any T.T my shots went super off today. and it was only after the whole match that i remembered, i shouldnt run parallel with the board but cut into the goal! AHH no one told me then i forgot. tsktsk badddd. i feel so disappointed with myself :( and i fell down like twice! UNGLAM MUCH. now both my knees got orh cheh :( pain laaaaa bleahh

AH anywayyy, after friendly, went to kallang leisure park for lunch! hahaha lunch became a camwhoring session (: then after that, went cine to take neoprints! omgosh, damn freaking long never take neoprints already! :D



haha then went to watch kidnapper with yuxian, amanda and pamela. omgosh, the show was freaking disturbing! P.S. do not watch it if you are damn scared of blood, do not watch it if you like going to arcade, do not watch if you are small-sized, do not watch is you are an easy target to kidnap! it'll totally spoil your day/night. hahaha i almost cried from the horror and disturbance! O:

haha yeahhh that's all for today (:


special quote: A-MAN-DA has became WOMAN-DA after peircing her ears (:



Friday, March 12, 2010
2:37 AM
SSEF WAS FUN! hahaha considering i had to skip 3 days of school XD

it was okay laaa, tuesday put up poster. nothing much. wednesday was judging O: omgosh, i was totally bored to death can. i thought judging was still quite okay (: haha then today, had results! didnt win anything though. but it's okay! lam and i aiming first prize in the singapore junior water prize competition! then can go stockholm HAHA XD

OLIVIA ONG SONGS ARE NICEEE (: her voice is like super sweet and nice! haha this is what i'm doing at 2 plus in the morning XD cause i slept just now from 10 to 12, then i woke up to study chem. and now, i cant sleep -.- haha



lying down, underneath the stars
thinking about the way you looked into my eyes
and told me how you feel
i dont know if my heart and mind are singing the same tune
need to know coz within me is a mix of fear, a little thrill

can't believe what i feel is real
feelings that's hard to conceal
i would hold you in my arms if you were mine forevermore

you and i
i never thought i'd fall for you
the best thing underneath the twinkling stars
my heart desires to be close to you
so you can take my hand and embrace me now
minimizing all my fears and i know
that all my doubts will disappear
there's nothing to conceal
it's real

and i tried, i cant seem to get myself to think of anything but you
i keep falling deeper but it gets sweeter too
everything, every single thing about you touches my heart in a way
i have never felt like this before, it's real

can't believe what i feel is real
feelings that's hard to conceal
i would hold you in my arms if you were mine forevermore

you and i
i never thought i'd fall for you
the best thing underneath the twinkling stars
my heart desires to be close to you
so you can take my hand and embrace me now
minimizing all my fears and i know
that all my doubts will disappear
there's nothing to conceal
it's real

can't believe what i feel is real
feelings that's hard to conceal
i would hold you in my arms if you were mine forevermore

you and i
i never thought i'd fall for you
the best thing underneath the twinkling stars
my heart desires to be close to you
so you can take my hand and embrace me now
minimizing all my fears and i know
that all my doubts will disappear
there's nothing to conceal
it's real ♥


Taking one step at a time,
Walking hand in hand.
1, 2, 3, 4, cheek to cheek
And they're learning how to do that dance,
Let this love be forevermore they say,
I wish, for this, to be true for you and me.




Monday, March 08, 2010
10:15 PM
i've never cried so long for a long time.


please dont comment or anything. i just needed to rant.

sometimes people think i'm so weird. like why do i think about so many things and stuff. but ohwell that's just me okay! so stop commenting that i'm weird (:

why issit that just yesterday night i told myself, OKAY NO MORE EMO BLOG POSTS. and tadaaaaa another one -.-wah shit, joanne lai you suck. OKAYY NEVERMIND! THE REMAINING SHALL NOT BE EMO (:

hm, today was kindaaaa okay hahaha went to school train awhile in the morning. i think my shooting improved, just maybe my aiming need to work on it. then had pe! ran 2.4km. my timing's like 13:07. damn saddd. i'm like almost 1minute slower than last year! dieeeeee. need to train up train up train up! :D thennn gp was boring as usual. but so sadd! andrew chong not gonna be our teacher anymore :( i hope i get a nice gp teacher. that wont make us do essays :D just like mr chong hahaha (: remaining lessons were boring.

then went for cip with jeremy and amelia :D it was funnnnn! i love small kids. haha even though it was only one hour, it was really fun. like really really. i wanna go back to kindergarden! playing with the kids was so troublefree and carefree (: felt happyyy haha then went home with jeremy. which we spent like half the journey playing my phone game hahaha yup that's all for todayyy :D



Saturday, March 06, 2010
10:27 PM
Like how the strings on a guitar will snap some day, i will too.


i think. i am too stressed. I NEED STRESS MANAGEMENT.

school hasnt been great or awesome or anything. it had been kinda, sucky.

pw groupings out! my group considered not bad already. same group as darryl, chi, xuelu and yunwei (: but then, school is stressing me out with all the damn freaking thick piles of homework! damnn.

and i'm really scared for nationals now. like really.

training today made me reflect on a lot of things. it's like a wake-up call. all of a sudden, there's this goal in mind to aim towards. TOP4. if we can get it, i promise i treat everyone ben&jerry's 88bucks icecream (:

i need to stop being too emotional during trainings, if not it'll really affect my performance. couldnt shoot for nuts today when i knew that usually i could! shooting way off, passing way off, communication way off. one word, today was BAD. didnt want to go and mug with kimberly and bryan at first. was really quite depressed. but ohwell, sometimes it's good to just forget about the serious matters and have fun (:

have been thinking a lot these few days. about school, relationships, floorball. think until got headache. i love floorball so much i wanna train everyday and not care about homework! but nooo, it's impossible. because if you dont do homework, you get sent out of class and totally lag by a lot.

which is why i say, life sucks nowadays.

i only have one aim now. to train hard for nationals (:



Wednesday, March 03, 2010
11:37 PM
Balloons make even the cloudiest days brighter.

i'm soooo tired! omgosh, how many times have i said that already.

monday tuesday wednesday have been tiring! went home at like 11plus on monday and tuesday cause of mugging. monday with kimberly and bryan, tuesday with junhao and jeremy. superrr tired! i cant believe i'm actually studying. like it's not even one month into the life of J1 yet!

and pe wasnt really helpful too! monday's pe was 3x800m intervals. sprinted like mad. timing was like 3.55, 4.10, 4.10. yeahh then next day, had pt. was supposed to do 10 rounds intervals! but girls ended up doing 5 only. my timing sucks. i feel so demoralised :( and todayy my muscles are like aching, but still got pe. conditioning somemore. i can totally feel my legs aching now T.T

went to valhall after school to get sticks for newcomers! i wanted to get a new stick. but no nice designs leh, end up i just changed my grip (: only reached home at about 9. so many people at valhall just now laaaa.

i think i think too much. many things going through my head every single minute. sometimes i'm amazed i can even think so much at once O: i'm supposed to be doing work now. but i give up, cause i'm really quite tired.


I SHALL GO AND SLEEP.

and wish that balloons would appear in my dreams :D then i'll be a happy little xiao mei mei tomorrow (:




"You know when you have found your prince
because you not only have a smile on your face
but in your heart as well."
[unknown]