Friday, June 25, 2010
9:42 PM
sometimes i wonder, can i really put this all down? after one year. after all that i've given up, all that i've done, everything. i practically gave my life and all the time i have, thinking about making things better and doing the right thing, and just doing all i can for the good of everyone. i never wanted or asked for anything in return. it's unconditional. i've given so much it's hard to imagine what's going to happen from now onwards. on the surface, yes of course, it's better this way blah blah blah. i'm not sad, not emo, actually quite relieved etc. but deep inside, whenever i think about this, i realised i cant. i really cant. it's not so easy after all. i love it so much, i cant imagine what will happen if i'm asked to stay out of it suddenly. yes, i do believe the other may do better, i'm not blaming anyone. i just felt that i could've done more. i'm already missing it after 2 weeks. i used to think about it every minute for the past year. i just hope my passion for it will stay and let it be a form of motivation to improve! i'll never get to wear it again.. but it's okay. at least i've been there once.. okay fine, i'm not okay. my dreams seemed to have been dashed. all that i've hoped for. ohwell. life has to go on. enough of random thoughts. time to mug.
